At times, life is not all peaches and cream. Well, at least that’s what my Grandma recently told me. The truth is, sometimes life does suck. Bad things happen to good people, bad things happen to bad people. People do and say hurtful things, extremely damaging and devastating things.
Has anyone ever done anything to you that was so hurtful, so devastating that you don’t know how you will ever forgive them? Have you ever felt wronged by someone?
When this injustice occurs, sometimes we may feel like we need to tell someone about it. It’s like these feelings are inside of you and if you keep them in there is a chance that you might explode, or implode, or spontaneously catch fire. The point is, it’s not good to keep it bottled up. And talking is a good thing. Talking about your feelings is a healthy expression of those emotions. You have to let it out.
But be careful what you say and who you say it to.
I have found that often when we are “venting” to another person about how someone has wronged us, what we are really looking for is affirmation from that person. Affirmation and acknowledgment that we have the right to be angry. We want to hear this person say something like, “that was really wrong for him to do that to you.” Or “I hope she gets what she deserves”. It’s like you want them to acknowledge that what the person did was wrong and was a sin.
Why is this? Why do we think that getting others to point out this person’s sin will somehow make us feel any better?
Maybe this is our way of getting back at the person. Like getting revenge. You know, defamation of character or something like that.
However, this is not what God wants us to do. “Vengance is mine, says the Lord” (Romans 12:19). It is not up to us to repay anyone for what they have done to us. No matter how sinful it may be. When we seek revenge, many times we are just causing more damage to the situation, more damage to ourselves, and more damage to others.
I’ll leave you with this… Next time you are angry or upset because you feel like you have been wronged, go ahead and talk to someone about it. But before you do, think about your intentions. Think about what you will say and how you will say it. Control your anger. Be a Jedi, not a Sith.