Have you ever noticed that so many things we do in life, we do backward or in the wrong order? We decide to go to college before deciding what we want to do with our life. We take out loans to pay for school in order to get a good job and the have to pay off our student loans. We make superficial judgments about people before even getting to know them. The one thing I’ve noticed recently that seems to be a bit out of sequence is this whole dating thing. So often we (and when I say “we” I mean us guys because I can’t speak for the ladies considering I have no idea how they think) meet someone of the opposite sex, and the first thing we think is “could I date this person?” Well, maybe not that exact thought, but it usually crosses our minds on some level of consciousness. You’re not even friends with this person, and you are already thinking about the possibility of dating. I think some people do actually start dating before they have even established a friendship. This is why so many couples break up after realizing that they are better off as just being friends.

Wouldn’t the correct sequence be to become friends and then possibly progress into dating if you both feel a romantic connection? I think so, but yet we continue to operate in this backward way. Let me tell you why I think we do this. We (humans) are all longing for intimacy in our relationships, and even though we don’t realize it, our idea of intimacy is very limited. It is as though we think the only way to truly get to know someone; I mean really connect with someone on a deep, personal, intimate level is by dating them. How unfortunate that would be. In a world inhabited by billions and billions of people, I cannot believe that we are only supposed connect with maybe a few others throughout our entire time on earth. In fact, I think intimacy can be experience in all relationships, not just romantic relationships. Once we realize this, then we can actually start to enter into relationships with no expectations, or intentions to progress towards dating. Then we can experience true friendship.

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