If you read my two previous posts, you might know where I’m going with this. I touched on how being strictly past-oriented, or being strictly future-oriented can be harmful to one’s happiness. So, this leaves us to talk about what it means to live in the present.

Living in the present helps you to appreciate every day that God has given you. People who live in the present grab life by the horns and take control of their day to day situation. To me, living in the present means waking up and seeing the opportunities that are available to me each and every day. There is a sense of excitement in life when you realize that you have the power to make a difference right now at this very moment.

Now it may sound like I’m saying that the key to living a fulfilled life is to live day to day, only focused on your current situation. Some might think of the pleasure principle, which says you should only do things that make you feel good, or things that may seem immediately rewarding. This is not what I am saying at all.

I do believe that living in the present or embracing every day life is the the most important part of how to live fulfilled; however, this should be closely tied with remembering the past and looking to the future. Living in the present involves using knowledge and experience from your past to make decisions that ultimately will affect your future.

What I am trying to say is the idea of Embracing Life includes acknowledging your past, present, and future. It is a synthesis of the three. Of course, the only one that you can focus on and impact immediately is the present, but think about it, the past used to be the present; and soon the future will be your present. By living in the present, you can impact all three.

So where did all this come from about embracing life, living in the present, and not letting your past affect your attitude about the future? These ideas have been bouncing around my head for a few months now, but recently I was reading an article about the Minerva High School (my Alma Mater) football team’s first playoff win in school history. At one point in the game, a few things went wrong for Minerva, and it looked like the other team was gaining some momentum. During a time out, Minerva’s coach noticed some of his player crying.

“I saw tears in their eyes,” Soles said. “I told them to knock it off because we weren’t done yet. It was still early in the fourth quarter and we were going to get a stop and go score.”

It’s funny how a football game can be a microcosm for your life.

This is the kind of attitude that each of us need to live by. Stop crying about the mistakes you’ve made. The future has yet to be written. Your story is not over. What are you going to do to make it better? Start by realizing that each day is a gift. Now is your chance to turn it all around.

I know I haven’t mentioned God much in these posts, but Jesus’ message is similar to what I’ve been saying. Stop thinking that you can’t find favor with God because of what you have or haven’t done. Jesus took care of that. This is truly the Good News. You are already blessed, now start living like it.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot to answer how I’ve been responding to the question “So, how’s life?” This is a true story by the way, I didn’t just make it up for my blog. For me, the proper response has been:

“Every day is an adventure, more exciting than the last.”

If you read part one, you already know that I intend on addressing how I’ve been answering the question “So, how’s life?” Just sit tight, we’re not quite there yet.

In the previous post, I discussed how having an understanding of history is important; but spending too much time dwelling on the past (whether it’s the good times or bad) can be harmful to your happiness. But what about the future?

Forward thinking is no doubt a great quality to have. It is important to have goals and know where you want to go in life. I spend a lot of time thinking about my future and taking the necessary steps to put me on the path to reach my goals. Without goals or a plan for your future, you will just wander through life living day to day, with very little sense of progress (at least none that was intentional).

But when does being future-oriented become harmful? I’ll give an example of an instance when having a plan for the future and being wrapped up in that future may cause someone to make premature decisions in order to attain this future as soon as possible. Many people seem to have a strong desire to find someone to spend the rest of their life with, you know, settle down and get married. This is how a lot of people envision their future.

Where this can be dangerous is when it becomes a person’s only goal in life. There is nothing wrong with wanting to get married, but you’d better make sure you are ready for the commitment. Rushing into a relationship because of your desire to get married, or the desire to not be alone, is tempting, but could be compared trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. If you think a successful marriage will bring you a happy and fulfilled future, you’d better make sure you are setting your marriage up to be successful.

The desire to be married was an example of how being future-oriented may cause you to make choices or take action before you are ready, but what about those who let the future inhibit them from making choices?

I used to live by the way of thinking (and still do sometimes) of “When this happens, then I can do that” or “When this, Then that” for short. What this means is I used to have my future planned out to the point where everything had to happen in a certain sequence in order for me to truly reach my goals.

For example, the proper sequence for my success (the simplified version, of course) would go something like this: First, I graduate high school. Then I go to college. In college I will choose a major. After graduation, I will find a job and pay off student loans. Once established, then comes finding a wife. After the wife comes kids, and so on and so on…

As you can see, this way of thinking limits the choices you can make or the experiences you may have. I can’t get married until I have graduated and find a job. But what if I meet the person that I’m supposed to marry in high school? Does that mean I have to wait four plus years until I have finished college and have a career to be in a committed relationship? Can you see how “When this, Then that” thinking can be limiting?

Being completely focused on the future causes it’s problems, while dwelling too much on the past is not the answer either. So, what is the key to living a happy life?

In part III, I’ll be discussing the Present and how living in the now can affect a person’s happiness. I hope I still have your interest.

Until next time….

How do you answer someone when they ask the familiar question “So, how’s life?”  I used to respond with my default retort of “Pretty good, you?” But, recently I have been answering this question differently.

I’ll get to my response in a second; but first I want to talk about the past and how important studying and understanding history can be to living a fulfilled life. So much can be learned from reflecting on where we’ve been. This could be applied to a person’s individual journey, or even in a larger societal context. Reflection is a personal hobby of mine, as odd as that may sound (picture “The Thinker” with my face).  But spending too much time dwelling on the past can be dangerous.

Can you think of a person you know (maybe it’s you) who is always talking about “the good old days” or how much better things used to be? Perhaps it was back in high school/college, or when their children were young. Whatever the case, they never seem to be happy with their current situation because it will never compare to how good things used to be.

Then you have others who also dwell on the past, but almost from the opposite end of the spectrum. I’m talking about the people who focus on the mistakes they have made throughout their lives. They seem to be fixed on the negative aspects of their story, feeling that they’ve messed everything up. In their minds, there is nothing to do but wallow in self-pity because the damage has already been done.

Both of these past-oriented perspectives can be harmful to a person’s present happiness. But how does the future play into this discussion? In my next post I will give some insight into my thoughts on future-oriented thinking and how it contributes to one’s happiness.

I know I have yet to answer how I respond to someone asking “How’s life?”. I’ll get to it by the end of these posts. Try to be patient. I’ve chosen to break these posts up and make them each more manageable to read in one sitting (I’ve been told my posts can get lengthy).

Look for Part II coming soon!

Anyway, the theory doesn’t identify strengths or weaknesses nor does it consider one personality type to be better than another. Its purpose is to identify how a person with a certain personality thinks and interacts in their daily life. There are 16 different type code combinations. As I stated earlier, my type code is INFJ, which is actually the most rare of all the personality types (only one percent of the population are INFJs). I don’t know why this sort of stuff is of such great interest to me. It’s probably because of how much anaylsis and self reflection goes into the identification of personality types. I love to analyze things, which is of course a common trait of most INFJs. It is uncanny how accurate the INFJ profile is in explaining how I think about things, especially relationships. For a good description of the INFJ type, check out this site: INFJ

Also, if you’d like to take a test and find out your personality type, I found this free online site that is based off the MBTI: Personality Test

The test I took in class was an official MBTI test, so it was probably more legit than the online test; but the online test is a good place to start. If you decide to take the test, please feel free to comment on this post and let me know what personality type you received. I’m very interested in hearing other’s result.

I had to write a reflection of my results for class, so I thought I’d share some of my thoughts. You might be bored by now, but if for some reason you want to keep reading, maybe you’ll learn a little about why I think or act the way I do. Like I said, INFJ is the most uncommon of the personality types, so often I feel misunderstood. Maybe this post will help others to better understand the craziness of what goes on inside my head. Let me know what you think.

After getting back the results of my MBTI report, it seemed very clear that my personality type is INFJ. At first, I believed I was more of an INTJ type, but after becoming more familiar with the traits of INFJs, there is no doubt that this is my true type. One of the first things I read about the INFJ type is that only one percent of the population fall into this category. For me, this statistic made a lot of sense because I have always felt that I possess a unique way of thinking about the world; and have trouble finding others who can relate to my way of thinking. INFJs are insightful, deep thinkers, who can be very idealistic as well as complex. Ask anyone who knows me well, and they will tell you that I over-think and over-analyze most things. There is no doubt that I am a very complex thinking individual. Another characteristic of an INFJ personality is that they can be very symbolic or metaphorical. A personal example that demonstrates this characteristic is recently I was trying to explain to a friend how relationships can be like training for a marathon. Needless to say, my friend thought I was strange for comparing running to dating, but this is how my brain works to make sense of things.

When it comes to communication, I exhibit INFJ characteristics by being better at communicating through writing than verbally. I consider myself a good writer and most INFJs are naturally artistic, so that makes sense. Also, it sometimes takes the act of writing out my thoughts and ideas in order to articulate what I’m trying to communicate. A great example of this is the fact that I occasionally post my thoughts on a personal blog for others to read. The content of my blog is mostly deep and complex, including insights and observations of the world around me, but often trying to send a message about my values or ideals, looking to create a dialogue with the reader.

Another aspect of my communication with others that demonstrates my personality type is my tendency to ask deep or unique questions. Many times I skip the small talk and go right for the more meaningful inquiries. Obviously, I have little interest in superficial conversation.

The INFJ type is very much exhibited in my interactions with others as well. Like stated previously, I have little use for superficial conversation, and am more interested in getting to know select individuals on a deeper level. This is why at times I can be very short with people who are trying to interact with me on a superficial level. Small talk does not interest me in most scenarios, and there are many times when I choose being silent over chit-chat. I understand that this can make me at times seem rude or uninterested, and I am trying to overcome this. I have had many people call me “mysterious” or “cautious” about revealing personal information. This fits with the INFJ type which is described as private and individualistic.

My work habits also demonstrate characteristics of INFJs, as I can be most creative when I am working independently. I do not have a problem with authority, but would much rather be left alone to work at my own pace, with little supervision. Also, in work situations, I would rather be a leader than a follower. This is exemplified by my interest in the coaching profession. I exhibit clear patterns of organization in my work habits, which is a trait of INFJ types. This organization is internal rather than external. I must always formulate a plan in my mind before I begin a project. Many nights I lie in bed planning the events of the upcoming day. Without organizing the events of my day in my mind, I feel very much disoriented and am likely to be unproductive.

When it comes to relationships, I fit the INFJ description almost perfectly. I am mostly interested in developing deep and meaningful relationships with a select few individuals. Also, I am always seeking to obtain the ultimate relationship. Progress is always a priority in my relationships; and I am always looking for opportunities to grow closer to my friends. I like my relationships to be intense and meaningful. At times, this can overwhelm others who are not used to such levels of complexity. I have a small circle of friends who I consider my most “real” friends and I share my most personal feelings and thoughts with; however, I still tend to hold some aspects of myself back.

At times, it seems as if I can obsess over particular relationships to the point where it can become too much for others to handle. INFJs also are said to be well liked by most people, especially the people who are able to get to know them, and I feel like this has been demonstrated in my experiences. I am the type of person who at first is very misunderstood, and can even seem shy or unfriendly, but after getting to know me, I am seen as a caring individual who thinks deeply about how I am relating to others. I feel like the people who know me best clearly understand that I value others and am very willing to help those in need. The tricky part is getting to know me. This is a common problem for the INFJ type.

In summation, I believe that the INFJ type most accurately describes my personality. It is very interesting and uncanny how accurate this personality inventory has been for identifying my type. I believe this information can help me to better understand myself and others; and if used properly will help me to become a better leader and coach.

It is hard for me to have a conversation with someone who is just looking for a debate. Now, I’m not saying that there isn’t a place for a good discussion or disagreement, but when someone already has decided that they don’t agree with a view before they have even heard what that view is, then I have trouble respecting the argument.

I understand how hard it can be to keep an open mind about things, especially issues or beliefs that are of the utmost importance to a person’s way of life or world view. But just because you have an open mind and are willing to listen to a perspective that may seem foreign to you, doesn’t mean that you are compromising what you believe. Wait, I take that back. I think compromising what you believe may be the point.

Unless you truly do have everything figured out, and I’m going to assume that you don’t, then there must be something that you can learn. How will you learn if you are not willing to listen to other ideas with an open mind? At least through hearing someone out, you will be better able to understand where they are coming from and why you may or may not agree with them.

Let’s talk briefly about truth. I’m not one of those people who hold the opinion that there are no absolute truths. Truth is not relative. I firmly believe this to be true. What is relative, however is our understanding of truth. For great insight on the interpretation of truth and paradigm shifts, check out Don Miller’s Blog.

Let me be clear, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t be confident in your beliefs, but what I am saying is why not be open to the fact that you may be wrong? It wasn’t so long ago (okay, 500 years or so isn’t that long ago) that most of the world was sure that the sun moved through the sky; and that the earth was the center of the universe. Needless to say, they were wrong, and what was thought of as a truth needed adjusted. I’m just saying, think about it.

And what’s so bad about the idea that you don’t have everything figured out? I recently heard someone speak about the nature of faith and how belief and doubt relate to faith. Many Christians try to rationalize their faith through things that they believe to be true. They may say that their faith is central to their relationship with God, but really it is what they believe that gives them comfort.

In reality, it seems that doubt plays a bigger role in strengthening one’s faith than belief does. What I mean by this is it is much more difficult to have doubts and be unsure of what is truth, and still have faith that God knows what he is doing. To recognize your doubts but still trust in God only increases your faith.

Next time somebody presents something to you that may seem in opposition to what you hold to be true, don’t immediately dismiss it without first examining what they are saying. Perhaps they aren’t saying what you thought they were saying. Or maybe they are coming from a perspective that you may have never considered. Take the time to understand where they are coming from, and then form your opinion of whether you agree or disagree or are unsure. This may be tough to do at first, but with practice and patience, it will get easier. Let me know how it goes!

Peace.

For a quick, but hardly exhaustive definition of the American Dream, you can search Wikipedia. Here the America Dream is described as “a national ethos of the United States in which freedom includes a promise of the possibility of prosperity and success.” So, it’s a promise? I think that may be part of it. But there seems to be more. To some it’s their ideal house, with a big front yard and a white picket fence. Or it is the ideal family, a beautiful spouse and a certain number of well behaved children. Maybe it involves the perfect career equipped with the right amount of digits on the paycheck. Whatever the American Dream may be to you, it is apparent that not all American Dreams are the same. One thing that is true of all American Dreams however, is they are an idealized vision of the way we want our lives to turn out, many times all neat and tidy with minimal conflict as possible. While the dream may include hard work, there is always the assurance that it will pay off in the end. There is little possibility of failure in the typical American Dream.

Thinking about this notion of the American Dream interests me immensely. When contemplating my own future, I wonder how much of what I envision has been skewed by the concept of the American Dream. In order to further examine this thought, I have decided to write out what my ideal future may look like if I were able to dictate all aspects of my life, keeping in mind that the American Dream includes  hard work, perseverance, and that success happens to those who help themselves. I am going to try to be as descriptive and specific as possible, mostly to personalize my American Dream and differentiate from others who may have a similar American Dream. This should be fun… And away we go!

In my American Dream, I would be happily married with at least two children, one boy and one girl. I wouldn’t limit it to only two children, but two is the minimum. If I had to set a max, it would be 4 or 5 (The 5th could come later in life and be an accident that turns out to be a blessing). Of course, my wife will be beautiful and because I am a health and fitness person, she will also be physically fit. We will most likely exercise together, probably in the morning. This will be convenient because our house will include a fairly well equipped exercise room, nothing too spectacular, but good enough to add variety to our workouts. My children will most likely be athletic as well, but even if they are not, they will be intelligent. I wouldn’t mind if a had a child who excelled at music or art, even if they had little interest in sports. As long as my children are healthy and engaged in some sort of activity that challenges them, I will be happy with them.

I will now describe the ideal location of my house and property according to my American Dream. The goal is to live out in the country, with a lot of open land, maybe even farm land. However, it will be convenient because I will be within 10-15 minutes of a city or town, so I am always in close proximity to some form of entertainment, such as restaurants, movie theaters, shopping centers, etc.. My house will be located either at the top or the bottom of a pretty large sized hill, that overlooks at lake or pond. A spectacular view of the horizon is a must, in order to watch the sunrise or sunset and also an open sky for star gazing. My house will be large enough to comfortably accommodate my family, while still feeling cozy. So, we’re not talking about a mansion or anything, but by no means a double wide. It will include a large kitchen, connected to an open living room, that way whenever my wife or myself are cooking, we are still able to interact with whoever is in the living room.

The basement must be finished and will serve as a rec room or entertainment room, where my friends and I can watch sporting events or play video games. It may even include a pool table. Of course, there will be an adequately sized plasma television mounted on the wall, as well as on the walls of many rooms in the house. Surround sound will be a necessity as well. The basement will be large enough to include the aforementioned workout room; however, this room will be separate from the entertainment room.

The garage will be at least a two car garage, but will also have extra space for my motorcycles. I will have at least one cruiser type motorcycle, and possibly one dirt bike or four wheeler. My wife and I will spend a lot of time in the summer cruising on the motorcycle. We’ll probably even take it on some pretty substantial road trips. I will not go into details on the types of cars we will posses, considering in ten years from now, my taste in automobiles may change, but I’m sure I will own a few nice cars, and I may even have my own classic muscle car, preferably a Mustang.

There may be a pool in the backyard, but it isn’t essential that there be one; although, my house will include a large deck with a hot tub and plenty of room to grill out in the summer and invite guests over. Also, in the back yard will be a medium sized garden, where I will grow organic vegetables to be enjoyed throughout the year. We will own plenty of land where I will be able to ride my dirt bike or four wheeler. The pond will be stocked with plenty of fish for my children and their friends to catch and have a fish fry. The fish will be delicious.

All this will be made possible because I will have a job that offers a great paycheck and financial security. I do not know what exactly this career may be, but I do know that I will have worked hard to get to this point and I will deserve what I’ve earned. My wife may also have a job, and it will be because she wants to work and loves what she does. If she chooses not to work, then she won’t have to work. But it will be her decision and I will support it.

So, I could probably type for hours about all the great things my American Dream will include, such as family vacations, perfects holidays, birthday celebrations, and successful business endeavors, but I will refrain from doing so for sake of lengthiness. The truth is, most of these things I have just described will probably never occur in my life. And I am fine with that. At least, I hope that I’m fine with it. The whole point of this little exercise has been for me to identify my version of the American Dream, so then I can kill it! That’s right, I said KILL IT!

This kind of thinking can be extremely dangerous. This kind of thinking is my enemy; and it is important to know what I’m up against. I don’t want to be a person who lives their life chasing after some idealized notion of how it should turn out. “I will be happy when this happens or when I have that.” Saying things like, “once my student loans are paid off and I have a solid career, then my life will be good.” I don’t want to live my life believing these sorts of lies.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that all the things I described in my American Dream are bad things. Most of them are indeed good things. There is nothing wrong with wanting to live a happy life and to have nice things. I think it’s human nature to visualize your future as being ideal. The problem is, this kind of thinking will most likely create a feeling that you need more or else you won’t be happy, or even create a sense of entitlement. Also, it feeds this false belief that you can obtain whatever you want just by working hard and earning it. Unfortunately, this is not true. There are many goals in life that may be unrealistic. Things can happen that just aren’t fair. Setting these lofty expectations of attaining the perfect life, the perfect marriage, having the perfect kids will just cause you to live always looking toward the future, rarely appreciating your present situation. Most likely you will never “make it”, because “it” will keep changing, evolving into something new, something better.

Perhaps the more desirable route is to live your life being grateful for every day that God has given you, not taking anything for granted. I don’t want to sit around, dreaming about the perfect life, only to wake up one day wondering where the past ten years have gone and feeling like a failure. Honesty has been a huge theme for me lately. If I want to live an honest life, I need to accept that I cannot micromanage my future. Part of being an honest person means being honest with yourself. Always living in the future is akin to lying to your brain. I want to be a person who lives fully in the present.

I wish I was more able to live this way, but truthfully, right now I fit more of the American Dream way of thinking. It’s not too late for me though. There is still time to change my thought patterns. But more importantly, I must change my actions. That is why I must kill my American Dream. Renew my mind and kill the dream. This will be easier said than done. But maybe, just maybe if I try hard enough, I’ll be able to do it…And away we go!

The speaker was a man named Peter Rollins who talked about an array of things, but mostly about identity. He was an interesting guy to say the least, not to mention he has a thick Irish accent. It took me five minutes to figure out that he was saying the word “doubt”. It sounded like he was saying “dote.” I had no clue what he was talking about at first. Anyway, he made a great point about the way people view themselves. We all have this mental concept or idea of ourselves. We tend to think that our beliefs and values really define who we are. When in reality, we are defined by our actions. Instead, we tend to idealize our identity.

It’s funny, cause I’ve recently been struggling with this idea. I realized that my actions do not reflect my self proclaimed belief system. Basically, I don’t walk the walk, I just talk the talk, (or think the thought). My life does not line up with the values I try to project. To be honest, I’m kind of frustrated with this idea. In my head, I am one person, but in reality, my actions reflect a completely different person.  I liked how Peter used Facebook as an example of how we try to convince others who we are. It’s so true. When you fill out the info section of your Facebook profile, you are choosing the information you want others to associate with your identity. You are manipulating your life in a way so that others only see what you want them to see. Sometimes I like to go through the Facebook feed and try to decipher what people are really saying when they update their status or comment on someone’s wall. The true message is usually not what was written. I’ve done it too. Many times I find myself questioning my motive before I post something. What message am I really trying to convey?

I’m probably over thinking this whole Facebook thing, but seriously, if you know me, you already know that this is what I do. I over think and over analyze things until my brain hurts. I can’t help it, that’s just how I am. I’m actually over thinking the statement I just wrote. What am I trying to convince people about my identity by declaring that I am an over thinker? When you start questioning your motives, everything becomes suspect. It’s a slippery slope. I ask questions not to receive an answer, but to coax others into asking me a certain question. I don’t care about what they have to say, I just need them to care about what I have to say. It’s actually a hard thing to admit. But I know that I do it and it bothers me that it doesn’t bother me more. I wish I was genuinely interested in what others have to say. But it’s hard.

One thing that I think I have going for me is that I don’t care that much to convince others that I do care. Now, this might sound absurd or unkind or something like that. Why would I not want others to think that I care about what they have to say? Doesn’t that come across as being mean, or rude, or self centered? I’m sure it does. But at least I’m not being fake. At least I’m not lying to others, or lying to myself for that matter. I know that some people prefer to be lied to. It makes things easier, less messy or awkward. But it is dishonest. I don’t want to be the type of person who tells people what they want to hear just to make everyone happy. Cause in reality, this makes no one happy. If this is sounding pessimistic or maybe even down right mean spirited, that is not my intent.

I decided some time ago that I’m going to do my best to be honest with the people I interact with, especially those whom I really care about. And to tell you the truth, it’s very difficult. I am nowhere near the level of honesty that I want to be at with anyone, not even myself. I don’t think I ever will be. But that doesn’t mean that I can’t be more honest than I currently am in my relationships. Like anything in life, it’s a process. Success doesn’t happen over night. It takes work, and hard work at that. The truth is sometimes a hard pill to swallow, for everyone involved. But I don’t want my life to be full of dishonesty and deceit, no matter how well intentioned it may be.

When you think about it, how are we able to truly care for each other or relate to each other when no one is telling the truth? It’s hard for me to be interested in what others have to say if I don’t believe that they are truly interested in what they are saying. I know I’m talking in extremes here. There are people who actually care about what they are talking about. And I can usually recognize who these people are and find them to be interesting. This is why I have trouble relating to a lot of older men in the church. Many times it seems as if they are trying really hard to relate to me in the conversations we have. They think that if they act like they are interested in the things I’m interested in, then we will have more to talk about. This usually does not work with me. I can see right through this façade. Like I said before, their intentions are noble, but it all just seems fake to me. Talk to me about what you are really passionate about and you will better hold my attention. Be genuine, I am much more interested in genuine.

But who am I kidding? It’s difficult to be completely candid with someone you don’t really know. Most of us aren’t wired that way. We are too guarded about what we say when we meet someone new. I am the type of person who takes awhile to allow myself to warm up to someone, especially in a group setting. The more people involved, the more reserved I become. I guess this is how a lot of people are; and it’s not necessarily a bad thing. With that being said, I encourage you to think about the messages you are trying to convey through what you say. Are you really being honest, or are you trying to manipulate the situation? Many times we don’t even realize what we are saying or why we are saying it. If you take the time to think about the intent of the content of your words, it is much easier to say things that you actually believe. Try it and see how that works out for you. There is a reason why they say “honesty is always the best policy”.

I would like to describe to you my experience in visiting the city dump in Tegucigalpa during my first trip to Honduras in December, 2008. Our team consisted of 30 or more individuals, mostly college students and a few missionaries, with a couple Hondurans sprinkled into the mix. Before we left the house in the morning, we prepared a multitude of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that we intended to pass out to the people living and working at the dump. Yes, I said LIVING at the dump. These people are desperate for food and money and have no other opportunities to earn a living, except by scavenging through a landfill for plastic, glass, or whatever else they can find to sell. I apologize if I get too graphic, but I want to paint an accurate picture of what the living conditions for these people are like. Imagine digging through the dumpster at your local shopping plaza, searching for whatever you can find that may be of value. Now imagine that dumpster being poured onto the ground in a big heaping pile of garbage. Picture this pile multiplied by at least ten thousand times. This is the situation at the dump. Piles of trash as far as the eye can see. The smell is unlike anything I have ever smelled before.
I used to work at a park and had to empty the trash in the summer. I thought that was a bad job, emptying garbage cans full of trash left over from a family reunion or graduation party from the weekend, the sun causing the wasted food to reek to the point where I wanted to vomit. This was mild compared to the smell at the dump. The people at the dump survive by digging through trash like this. And this trash doesn’t only consist of left over food from a summer cookout. What makes matters worse is how in Honduras, the plumbing is different than the plumbing in the States. The pipes are too small to flush your toilet paper down the toilet. You have to toss it in the trash can. Needless to say, this trash also ends up at the dump. Did I mention the wild dogs and buzzards? Well, there are wild dogs, fighting over leftover animal bones, and swarms of buzzards, with their beady eyes, looking as if they’d just love for you to take a nap, so they can pick you apart and get their fill for the day. Maybe I’m exaggerating about the intentions of the buzzards, but those things are creepy.
Anyway, the first time I visited the dump was quite the experience. As our mini-bus was driving into the landfill, I had no idea what to expect. I knew things were going to be interesting when not a hundred feet past the entrance, multiple Hondurans jumped onto the back and climbed on the top of our bus. As we followed the truck with the bananas, bagged water, and the PB&Js that we made to pass out, Ashley assigned some of the guys a girl from the trip to partner with and keep an eye on to deter anyone at the dump from any funny business. We were warned about the danger of going off by ourselves, and instructed to leave our cameras on the bus so they wouldn’t get stolen. As the driver parked and we attempted to set up to distribute the food, our bus was swarmed by a mob of people. If you’ve ever seen those videos of celebrities in their limos driving through a crowd of people after an event, the scene at the dump was similar, except these people didn’t have cameras and weren’t interested in autographs. The idea is to get the people to line up so we can pass out the food in an orderly fashion. Let’s just say things didn’t go as planned. This was one of the few times I was a little scared for our safety. Especially since at one point a man reached in the truck and grabbed Sam’s camera and took off. For some reason Ethan and Steve ran after him, which was not a good idea. That could have turned into a much worse situation.
Once thing I noticed was all though we were passing out food and water to many malnourished people some of the them were more interested in the new loads of garbage that were being brought in while we were there. I guess some people don’t like peanut butter and jelly. Even though a lot of good came out of that day, it was still difficult to process. My first experience with the dump in Honduras left me feeling shocked that people could live this way.
This brings me to this trip’s experience at the dump. The setting was not unlike my first experience, and I can truthfully say that even though I had all ready been to the dump, I was still not prepared to see people living in those conditions. Unless you are actually there smelling the smells, watching the people dig through the piles of trash, it is difficult to remember just how horrible it is. But this time, something was different. We worked with a missionary, I think his name was Mark(?), who has been consistently visiting the dump and not only feeding the people but also developing relationships with them. He knows many of them by name and many of them know him. He and his team have truly helped to change the entire atmosphere at the dump. If there is a word to describe my first experience at the dump, it would probably be “crazy.” In contrast, the word to describe this experience would be “calm.” It is amazing how different the people acted towards us. It was evident that these people trust Mark and see him not as only a missionary, but also as a friend. This just reinforces the importance of building meaningful relationships with those you are ministering to.
Really, I don’t even like referring to is as “ministering.” There’s something about such terms that make it seem as if we are only developing these relationships or serving others to complete some sort of agenda or something. I know it is important to be intentional about how we serve others, but I want to show love to people because I truly love them. Another term that I don’t really like is the term “love on.” I know when people use it, they mean it in a good way, and I also know that I analyze things too deeply, but cut me some slack. This is just how my brain works. Why say something like, “One of the goals of this trip is to love on people?” Why not just say, “I want to love people.” I know that “love on” sounds more like an action, but seriously, “Love is a verb.” (Thanks dc Talk.) Anyway, I just thought I’d add that cause it bothers me. Don’t pay any attention to my craziness.
Back to the trip. I think the dump experience was more difficult for me this time around. Since the food distribution situation was under control and there wasn’t really anything for me to do, I was able to observe the people a lot more than in my first experience. I got to see them interact with each other. I watched them interact with us. I saw the smiles on their faces as we handed out to them a bowl of beans, rice, and tortillas as well as a bag of water. They were truly appreciative. It made me happy to see how they were interacting with us, even though we come from such different backgrounds. This also makes me sad. Even though we were relating with each other, at the end of the day, I was preparing to get on a plane and fly back to the comforts of my air conditioned room and soft bed. They were preparing for another day of digging through piles and piles of trash just to survive. I see a problem there, and I don’t think the answer is to introduce them to the comforts of the American lifestyle. Unfortunately, I don’t know what the answer is…

I hope you’ve enjoyed reading about my experiences in Honduras. This is going to be my final post about the trip. I hope you’ve learned something or at least thought about some things that you hadn’t previously taken the time to ponder. I know I have. No matter where you are in life, I encourage you to get involved in serving others. You don’t have to go over seas to make an impact on someone’s life. There are many ways you can serve, whether by volunteering at a local homeless shelter or donating money to an organization. If you have the desire to take a short term service trip, I encourage you to look into it. The experience will truly help shape you and mold you in ways you never thought possible. Just remember that God is good. Seek His guidance and then just go do it. Thanks for reading and I hope to read about your experiences in the future.

-Peace.

The first place that we visited was the state run hospital. There are so many children in this hospital with illnesses ranging from AIDS to just a simple broken bone. Visiting these children is one of the saddest/toughest things to handle throughout the trip. We handed out blankets, beanie babies (thanks Kaci), and silly bands. This is another instance where not being able to speak Spanish really wears on me. I would love to talk to these children, ask them how they are feeling and pray with them. There are so many kids in that hospital with so many needs, but unfortunately, not all their needs will be met. I left the hospital wishing that I could have done more to help these children.

Next we visited a special needs orphanage. There are many children who live in the orphanage, some in wheel chairs, some with deformities, some with mental handicaps. At first, I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to connect with or know how to connect with the kids. As I was sitting on the swing with one of the children, I think his name may have been Carlito, I began thinking how these children are no different than other children. Sure, they may have a handicap that make their lives more challenging, but that doesn’t mean they are any less in God’s eyes. They are human beings with a heart and a soul. God love’s them just as much as he loves me. As I sat there with Carlito on the swing, it seemed as if he was not enjoying himself. It seemed as if he was not able to enjoy himself. He didn’t show emotions or really make indications that he was having fun. To be honest, I thought to myself that I may have been wasting my time and might as well go and sit in the shade with him. Eventually, I decided to take Carlito off the swing and go for a walk. As we started to walk around the play ground area, it was apparent that Carlito wanted to keep swinging. As he walked back to the swing, I realized that just because I couldn’t tell he was having fun swinging, doesn’t mean that he wasn’t. From this point on, I decided that I was going to let myself have fun swinging with Carlito. This was one of those typical backyard swing sets that have the two seater swing on one side, with the seats facing each other. We swung as high as we could go, Carlito even helping to propel the swing with his legs. This is when I started to really pay attention to Carlito’s expressions. All though it was subtle, I could tell the he was having fun. He did this thing with his head where he looked up as if looking at the clouds, just enjoying the wind in his face. At one point I let out a “woot, woot” sound. Carlito responded with his own “woot”. We were communicating. For the rest of our time swinging, I proceeded to talk to him, even though I knew that he couldn’t understand me. Eventually, he began to make noises and it seemed as if he was trying to communicate with me. It doesn’t matter that we didn’t fully understand each other. I know that some day we will fully understand each other in heaven.

From there we headed to a juvenile detention center housing boys up to age 18. Picture a room smaller than an average classroom filled with 40 plus adolescent boys, with bars on the windows and no air conditioning. I’ve never been to prison, but I have a feeling that being in that room is similar to what prison feels like. Actually, Matt and I were allowed to use the restroom at the facility and we saw a kid who was locked in a cell. He must have been in trouble or something, I don’t know. I didn’t ask. Not that I am capable of asking anything except “how are you?” in Spanish anyway. I do not know the reasons why each individual kid was at the detention center. I don’t know their stories. But I do know that they were kind to us. They allowed us to watch Honduras play in their final World Cup match. They cheered with us as we thought Honduras scored a winning goal late in the game, only to be disappointed when the referee made the off sides call. Once again, these children were normal children. They loved to watch soccer, or play board games, or sell us these neat bracelets that they make from yarn. It is unfortunate that their circumstances have landed them where they are. I guess it’s better than being alone on the streets.

The last place we stopped was the state run orphanage. We brought little Caesar’s pizzas for the children to eat. This is an interesting place. It is basically a temporary home for children who are waiting to be placed in a long term orphanage or home. There are children of all ages basically living on top of each other because the orphanage is so full. There were so many kids there, I didn’t know where to start. I decided to grab Mario, one of the Honduran brothers that have been with us the whole trip, to translate. Keep in mind that Mario is only eight years old. I could not have had a better translator. Mario is incredible, just like each of his brothers. He goes to a bilingual school and is getting very good at speaking English. I could sense that Mario was eager for us to talk with the children. He had this serious look on his face as we were walking by the playground area. Then he stopped and looked at me and said “I used to live here.” I knew that the boys were all orphans at one point, but it hadn’t dawned on me that they had lived in that orphanage. This put the whole experience in a totally new perspective for me. Here I was, with an eight year old Honduran child, passing out silly bands to orphans, coming from a completely different background, and Mario was one of these orphans in the not so distant past. This was his life. He had been in these kid’s shoes. It broke my heart to see how eager he was to show compassion for the children. He knows what it is like to live there.

The boys’ story is amazing to me. I don’t have time to tell it all right now and do it justice. I just want to say how awesome it is to see God at work in their lives. They are growing up to be great men of Christ. You can see it in their actions. You can hear it in their words. You can feel it in their smiles. Their story gives me both joy and hope that God is in control. It helps me to know that what we are doing down here, what missionaries like David, and Amber do is truly making a long term impact on the lives of many people. God is so good. I know that He has amazing things in store for those boys. I look forward to watching them grow into the men they are destined to be. I hope that I can continue to be a part of their lives in any way possible. I could write for hours about each of them. I could write about how Antonio is the cutest kid in all of Honduras, always smiling and giggling. I could tell you how Francisco is only six, but is already quite the ladies man. I could go on about how Mario is the sweetest, most humble of the brothers, always seeming to be reflecting on the situation, mature well beyond his years. Marvin takes pride in being responsible and is constantly helping translate, directing the bus drivers where we are going. Then their’s Giovanni, with his Italian american accent, the goof ball of the bunch, but still as kind and caring as any kid his age that I’ve ever met. Lastly, there is Johnny. Johnny is the oldest of the boys and lives a slightly different path. He was never orphaned because he was old enough to work. He doesn’t speak much English, and at times is overshadowed by his bilingual brothers. The thing about Johnny is that he is tough. You can tell by the way he carries himself that he is responsible to take care of his brothers. I could say so much more, but it is getting late and I’m tired.